Longmont Potion Castle 9 · 2012

LPC 9 Medley 2

Track 10 · Type: 📞 Call

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Track details

A

Aliases

• Elmo Slaughter
• Francois

E

Establishments

• Cave of the Winds

---

• LPC: Oh, hello? :
  
• LPC: Hi this is Francois over at Lip Smackers, how ya doing? :
  
• LPC: Hi, what's up? What's up Lipsmackers? What's up? :
  
• LPC: Ah, we’re a popup bounce house, here in the neighborhood. And we’re inviting everyone down, :
  
• LPC: we got a bounce house going. :
  
• LPC: A bounce house going? :
  
• LPC: Yes, sir. :
  
• LPC: Wow. What do they do at a bounce house? :
  
• LPC: Oh, we got people jumping up and down. :
  
• LPC: Just jumping up and down? :
  
• LPC: It’s a haunted bounce house. :
  
• LPC: A haunted bounce house? :
  
• LPC: Wow. :
  
• LPC: So get on down here and jump up and down for awhile, and then, uh, we’ll send you on your way. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: well can’t do anything today ‘cause I got to go around and pay my bills. :
  
• LPC: Well it’s only happening today, sir. :
  
• LPC: Okay, well, if I have the time, I’ll come down to it. :
  
• LPC: You come down? :
  
• LPC: we’ll get ya in there. :
  
• LPC: We got balls all over the place. :
  
• LPC: Real big. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: We’ll bounce you around a little bit. :
  
• LPC: Sound good? :
  
• LPC: Okay, okay. :
  
• LPC: I have the time. :
  
• LPC: Thank you. :
  
• LPC: I got to get shaved and washed and go around and pay my phone bill so my phone doesn’t get shut off. :
  
• LPC: Get cleaned up, and we’ll :
  
• LPC: strip ya down, and we’ll bounce you around a little bit. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Hi, it’s Francois. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, what's up? :
  
• LPC: Lip Smackers. :
  
• LPC: Can you turn down your stereo? :
  
• LPC: This is Lip Smackers. :
  
• LPC: You don't tell me, I'm in a restaurant. I can't do that. :
  
• LPC: I can stand outside to see what you want. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, let’s try that. Because this is Lip Smackers calling. :
  
• LPC: What are you? :
  
• LPC: What? Lip Smackers from where? :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: And, uh, :
  
• LPC: We need a donation and a contribution tonight. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don’t have any money. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I just paid my rent, and I’m broke. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: My sister was homeless, and I had to pay for her to stay in this hotel 6. :
  
• LPC: I don’t have any money. :
  
• LPC: We got a bounce house, sir, and we waited for you to show up, and you did not show up. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't have. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I had an interview I had to go on, and it was very long. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I’m unemployed now. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Why don't you get my number anyway? :
  
• LPC: Why don’t we come by and bounce you around a little bit? See how you like it. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: No. :
  
• LPC: I don’t think this is gonna work. :
  
• LPC: Hey, listen up, man. :
  
• LPC: How about we knock you around a little bit? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: And why did you, I call the police and knock you in jail? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Bye. :
  
• SPEAKER_10: Hello? :
  
• SPEAKER_10: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Yes. :
  
• LPC: this is Sacha. :
  
• LPC: What? :
  
• LPC: I’m your neighbor Sacha. :
  
• LPC: (Belch) Just need a little help today. :
  
• LPC: I’m sorry it’s short notice. :
  
• LPC: We got a runaway kite up here. :
  
• SPEAKER_10: A runaway, what? :
  
• SPEAKER_10: Kite? :
  
• LPC: Yeah, kite. :
  
• LPC: K-I-T-E. :
  
• SPEAKER_10: Where do you live? :
  
• SPEAKER_10: Where are you calling? Who are you calling? :
  
• LPC: I need a hand real quick. I can give you $5, $10. :
  
• SPEAKER_14: I have no idea what you're talking. Do you know who you talking to? :
  
• LPC: Well yeah, we’re, I live adjacent to you, and I’m out here and we got this runaway kite, It’s be a real big favor, :
  
• LPC: I’d consider it a big help. :
  
• SPEAKER_14: A runaway kite. Are you in 29 palms? :
  
• LPC: Yeah, just get up, get dressed, get outside, and… :
  
• SPEAKER_14: I can, I cannot get up and get dressed, I’m in a :
  
• SPEAKER_14: medical condition, okay? :
  
• LPC: Well, this is a valuable kite, sir. :
  
• SPEAKER_14: I cannot get up. :
  
• SPEAKER_14: don’t you understand that? I’m bedridden. :
  
• LPC: Oh. :
  
• LPC: Well, uh, it’d be good for you, wouldn’t it? :
  
• SPEAKER_14: NO. You better be careful on this property, because you’ll get shot. :
  
• LPC: Just get up and get dressed, fella. :
  
• SPEAKER_14: Don’t talk to me that way, pal. :
  
• LPC: I offered you $15. :
  
• SPEAKER_14: I don’t need your goddamn money, okay? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Hello? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Hey. :
  
• LPC: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Yeah, are you guys on Facebook at all? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: No, my computer’s down. :
  
• LPC: Oh. :
  
• LPC: Hey, well, listen, we got a runaway kite out here. :
  
• LPC: We got a little bit of a situation here. :
  
• LPC: Who’s this? :
  
• LPC: Sasha. :
  
• LPC: So, Scotia. :
  
• LPC: Just put on some dungarees or something, and lend a hand, won’t ya? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I don't know what this is all about. :
  
• LPC: We’ve got a real valuable kite up in the air. :
  
• LPC: It’s the neighborly thing to do, :
  
• LPC: is lend a hand. :
  
• LPC: Well, what's it at? :
  
• LPC: It’s up in the air, of course. :
  
• LPC: But where abouts? :
  
• LPC: Uh, due North. :
  
• LPC: Alright? So just put on some boots and get with the program, okay? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: Well, I can't do that. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I can’t come out. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I’ve got people working here on my house, and I need to be here. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I, I can’t do it. :
  
• LPC: Get up, get dressed and get in gear. :
  
• LPC: ‘Cause, uh, this kite’s flying away. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: Well, what about I? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I, I don’t know anything about catching a kite. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I don’t have a vehicle I can go off the road with. :
  
• LPC: We got a hot air balloon. :
  
• LPC: we’re gonna send you up there. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: (sigh) I still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. :
  
• LPC: I really don’t. :
  
• LPC: You, you’re wasting valuable time here. :
  
• LPC: Quit dilly-dallying around. :
  
• LPC: Who’s this? :
  
• LPC: Sasha. :
  
• LPC: Sasha. :
  
• LPC: Sacha who? :
  
• LPC: Well, how about you give me five, ten dollars, then, to get somebody else to help me? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: Well, I ain’t gonna give nobody any money, and :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I don’t even know what the hell this is all :
  
• SPEAKER_11: about. Saying there’s a kite, a balloon, or something loose? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I have no reason to be out there involved in it. :
  
• LPC: You're my neighbor. :
  
• LPC: your...Why don’t you quiet your bird down, and get outside and get involved here? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I ain’t gonna get out and run around out in the damn desert, in this heat. :
  
• LPC: You can and you will. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: Hey, don’t tell me I will. :
  
• LPC: Well, get involved. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I don’t know who the hell you are, so you just get off my goddamned telephone. :
  
• LPC: Get involved, Charlie. :
  
• SPEAKER_11: Yeah? :
  
• SPEAKER_11: I’m involved. I’ll be involved if you don’t quit fuckin' with me. :
  
• LPC: Get out here. :
  
• LPC: Hello. :
  
• LPC: How can I help you? :
  
• SPEAKER_08: I don't know, you called me. :
  
• LPC: Oh, I see. :
  
• LPC: This is Elmo Slaughter. :
  
• LPC: I'm calling from Cave of the Winds. :
  
• LPC: Never heard of it. :
  
• LPC: It's a magical, uh, labyrinthian attraction. :
  
• LPC: Oh. :
  
• LPC: Magnificent. Real magnificent. :
  
• LPC: Cave of the Winds. :
  
• LPC: And, uh, were up here in Manitou Springs, Colorado. :
  
• LPC: What number would you call him? :
  
• LPC: This is Elmo Slaughter calling. :
  
• LPC: (SFX) Cave Of The Winds. :
  
• SPEAKER_08: Well, that's funny. :
  
• SPEAKER_08: I'm a police news reporter, and your goddamn telephone number's coming in 3085945, Anthony. :
  
• SPEAKER_08: So you must be calling the wrong goddamn person here. :
  
• LPC: Well I need, uh, some help up here, big guy. :
  
• SPEAKER_08: I don't know who the hell you are. :
  
• LPC: I'm Elmo with Cave of the Winds, and we've unearthed numerous scrolls. :
  
• LPC: (SFX) that need to be interpreted. :
  
• SPEAKER_08: You need to go back and join Obama, Hitler :
  
• SPEAKER_08: Obama, and don't use this goddamn telephone number 'cause it's already been registered. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, that's what I'll do. :
  
• LPC: You gonna... :
  
• SPEAKER_08: Are you sick you son of a bitch?!? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Good afternoon, so I'm going to assist you. :
  
• SPEAKER_05: My dad said that he was God. :
  
• SPEAKER_05: Okay. :
  
• SPEAKER_05: And suddenly, I was forced down on the floor, and all I could do is, and I started to see. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: That would have. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: it sounds like when you were falling? :
  
• SPEAKER_06: It wasn't. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: I swear it. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: Yeah? :
  
• SPEAKER_06: We are naked and unashamed. :
  
• SPEAKER_12: Uh, I don't want to hear about it. :
  
• SPEAKER_00: This means literally, physically naked. :
  
• SPEAKER_00: This means literally, physically naked. :
  
• SPEAKER_10: Why don't you, like, back scratch that shit and put it on the internet, bro? :
  
• SPEAKER_10: Yes. :
  
• SPEAKER_00: Thank you for calling. :
  
• LPC: Hey. :
  
• LPC: Hello? :
  
• LPC: (SFX) Where are my backing tracks? :
  
• LPC: Hello. :
  
• LPC: Um. :
  
• LPC: Backing tracks. :
  
• LPC: Just looking for time. :
  
• LPC: I don't know. :
  
• LPC: I think we have a bad connection. :
  
• LPC: You sounds all, like, robotic. :
  
• LPC: Your my backing tracks. :
  
• SPEAKER_12: I can't hear you. :
  
• SPEAKER_12: Give us your phone number :
  
• SPEAKER_12: and we’ll call you back, :
  
• SPEAKER_12: you’re breaking up on us. :
  
• LPC: I need auguribus tracks stacked. :
  
• LPC: Stop. :
  
• SPEAKER_12: Okay, hold on you a minute. :
  
• SPEAKER_12: Oh. :
  
• LPC: (Man) Give me your phone number, :
  
• LPC: I'll call you that. :
  
• LPC: it’s a really bad connection. :
  
• LPC: I need the Ogvorbus tracks. :
  
• LPC: Ogvoribus tracks. :
  
• LPC: O-G-B-O-R-B-I-S? :
  
• LPC: Yes. :
  
• LPC: Yes. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: can I have your phone number? Because you’re breaking up. :
  
• LPC: I submitted these things over three weeks ago. :
  
• LPC: And I haven't received anything back. :
  
• LPC: Okay, again, sir, you’re breaking up on me. :
  
• LPC: Can you give me your phone number so I can call you back? :
  
• LPC: call you back. :
  
• LPC: 310. :
  
• None: Yep. :
  
• None: 827. :
  
• LPC: That’s our phone number, sir. :
  
• LPC: I’m looking for your, your phone number. :
  
• LPC: What part aren't you understanding? :
  
• LPC: What part aren't you understanding? :
  
• LPC: BECAUSE IT’S BREAKING UP and I’m having a hard time understanding you. :
  
• LPC: If you don’t give me your phone number, to call you back… :
  
• LPC: Then we can’t continue the conversation. :
  
• LPC: Fella! I gave you the phone number, fella. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: - Hi, Thanks for calling- :
  
• LPC: Uh, I need some. :
  
• LPC: Composite, touch, bring? :
  
• SPEAKER_09: 'Kay. Sir, There's something wrong with your phone. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: Are you playing a joke on me? :
  
• LPC: Absolutely not. :
  
• LPC: Absolutely. :
  
• LPC: You are playing a joke on me. :
  
• LPC: Ar-Are you disabled, or do you have a vocal problem or something, :
  
• LPC: communicating through a computer? :
  
• LPC: What's going on with the- :
  
• LPC: What are you doing on this phone call that you're making everything so weird? :
  
• LPC: Can I have your phone number and I'll call you back? :
  
• LPC: Ready? :
  
• LPC: Go ahead. :
  
• LPC: 310. :
  
• LPC: Eight? :
  
• LPC: Two. :
  
• LPC: Oh, Jesus Christ. :
  
• LPC: Dude, you're giving me my phone number. :
  
• LPC: That's not working. :
  
• LPC: What number can I reach you at? :
  
• LPC: Listen to me here. :
  
• LPC: Can I have a- YOUR PHONE NUMBER so I can call you back? :
  
• LPC: This is the last time I'm gonna ask you, :
  
• LPC: If you don't do that, then we can't communicate. :
  
• LPC: Can I call you back? :
  
• LPC: Why are you yelling? :
  
• LPC: Because you're fucking not giving me the information I'm asking for, :
  
• LPC: which is the phone number to call you back at. :
  
• LPC: Why are you fucking cursing? :
  
• LPC: You don't have any life and this is how you're having fun, :
  
• LPC: that's great. :
  
• LPC: If you want to have a serious conversation, :
  
• LPC: give me the number to call you back on. :
  
• LPC: Why are you fucking swearing in me? :
  
• LPC: Because you're fucking using some kind of vocal effects :
  
• LPC: on this phone call. :
  
• LPC: If this is a game, then I don't have time for it. :
  
• LPC: If you wanna give me a phone number that you called here. :
  
• LPC: what phone number can I call you back on? :
  
• LPC: 310. :
  
• LPC: Yes. :
  
• LPC: 8-2 :
  
• LPC: Two :
  
• SPEAKER_00: Thank you for calling. :
  
• SPEAKER_00: Hello. :
  
• LPC: What's the deal here? :
  
• LPC: My files. :
  
• LPC: My missing files. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: This is LAPD Homicide. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: You must have a wrong number. :
  
• LPC: Homicide. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: - Hi, thanks for calling. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: Ah! :
  
• LPC: "God damn it baby, you know I ain't lyin' to ya, :
  
• LPC: I'm only going to tell you one time. :
  
• None: That turns me on so much. :
  
• None: Ah! :
  
• None: Who is this? :
  
• None: What is this? :
  
• SPEAKER_09: Such a turn on. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: Woo! :
  
• SPEAKER_09: You turn me on so much. Keep going. I love it. :
  
• SPEAKER_09: Yeah, yeah! :
  
• None: You turn me on so much. Who is this? :
  
• LPC: - (LPC) My name's Curtis, I was trying to get some rates. :
  
• LPC: Curtis. What kind of rates do you want? :
  
• LPC: I got a band. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: And, uh, well, what? :
  
• LPC: kind of - do you want to track, or what kind of room you looking for? :
  
• SPEAKER_12: No. :
  
• LPC: Curtis? :
  
• LPC: Yeah! :
  
• LPC: Curtis, can you talk to me or you gonna dick around here? :
  
• LPC: Yeah! :
  
• LPC: Ok, goodbye! :
  
• LPC: Dick for brains. :