LPC: Hello?

LPC: Hi, may I talk to Scott?

LPC: This is.

LPC: Hi, this is Haywood with Otis Elevators.

None: Okay.

LPC: Got some mail returned that we had sent to you.

None: Okay.

LPC: Guess you didn't see it? From Otis Elevators?

LPC: No.

LPC: We had actually sent you a bill.

LPC: There's a fee associated with our elevators when anyone presses more than four buttons at once.You

LPC: were on surveillance.

LPC: There's an 89 dollar fee associated,

LPC: with that.

LPC: So that's what we're trying to collect here today.

LPC: When was this?

LPC: January.

LPC: January?

LPC: Yes, sir.

LPC: I don't remember being in an elevator back in January.

LPC: It was on Hobby Avenue or Indiana Avenue. One of our buildings there.

LPC: If you just wanted to do the credit card by phone or a routing number by phone, we could satisfy the debt that way.

LPC: An elevator over on Hobby Avenue?

LPC: Yes, sir.

LPC: What's the building?

LPC: It was a city building.

LPC: It was an $89 fee.

LPC: It's just to prevent people from pushing buttons willy-nilly and

LPC: elevators are not to be toyed with, was the reasoning behind the fee.

LPC: What was the date of this?

LPC: January 2 through the 12th, we were doing a big sweep.

LPC: So within that 10-day time frame, sir.

LPC: You pushed too many buttons,

LPC: is the long and short of it.

LPC: Yeah, well, I'm trying to tell you, I don't remember being in a building during that time frame.

LPC: We do.

LPC: okay? It's on vidya.

LPC: We've even got audio of that elevator ride that you took.

LPC: I'm with Otis elevators.

LPC: OK? I've been here-

LPC: OK, I don't remember being in an elevator on Indiana Avenue.

LPC: Four years I've been here.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: We've seen lots and lots of elevators go up and down, and people are pushing too many buttons.

LPC: It's wearing the things out.

LPC: This is what you did.

LPC: and this is what we need: 89 dollars.

LPC: I check the mail everyday and I've never received anything from an Otis Elevator.

LPC: Uh-huh.

LPC: You can't even give me a building that I was in that had an elevator.

LPC: Well, it got returned to sender sir.

LPC: How can it give you return to sender if I'd never received it?

LPC: Well, that's the problem.

LPC: Work it out with your substation of your post office.

LPC: Who knows what else you're not receiving.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: And then you decide to get in the elevator, go

LPC: up, go down, whatever you were doing and you pressed an excess of four buttons.

LPC: It's wearing the thing out double, triple time of what it should be. That's-

LPC: The only building that I can ever think of that is on Indiana Avenue, which would have a

LPC: elevator in it would have been the courthouse in Kankakee.

LPC: Oh OK, well then that's uh, 89 times 2...that'd be $198 today.

LPC: I appreciate your being forthright about this.

LPC: So just read us the credit card number, we'll wipe it out, and in the future, just press the one button, boom, we're done.

LPC: OK, first of all I'm not going to pay for anything because I haven't seen a bill that says I was there.

LPC: OK, well that's between you and the post office sir.

LPC: Well, no, that's between you and me, because you're saying you sent it, I've never seen anything from an Otis elevator.

LPC: I'm telling you, the only building on Indiana Avenue that would have such a thing,

LPC: is the courthouse, and if I'm in an elevator, I'm only pressing one button.

LPC: ...More like five or six, according to our videotape.

LPC: Well, why don't you send me a copy of your video so I can either confirm or deny this?

LPC: Because that's private property. It's part of the city.

LPC: Well then you send me a fuckin' bill or a picture from your video that says I was there

LPC: so I can either confirm or deny that I was there. And I'm telling you between the 2nd

LPC: and the 12th, my ass was sitting in my apartment.

LPC: Well, there's nothing to deny, and we've got audio as well.

LPC: OK but see, you're saying you have it

LPC: I'm disputing your claim that you have it because I've never seen anything from you.

LPC: Oh, sir, you were hooting and hollering in this elevator.

LPC: I'm hootin and hollerin' in the elevator?

LPC: Yessir.

LPC: And that's the reason why we instituted this 89 dollar penalty is to dissuade folks from goin buck wild.

LPC: Okay, so that's.

LPC: First of all, I would not hoot and holler in an elevator.

LPC: I was raised better than that.

LPC: Now, can you tell me what I was doing?

LPC: Obviously, you've seen the video.

LPC: Oh, you were spinnin' around-

LPC: Okay.

LPC: -The people were goin' buck wild.

LPC: Um, no, that's not me.

LPC: I've been here four years.

LPC: I have.

LPC: I've seen it all.

LPC: I really have.

LPC: I would never do no such thing in an elevator.

LPC: Oh, there was saliva on the ground.

LPC: Trust me.

LPC: there was a lot going on there.

LPC: OK, you're making this shit up cause I would not do anything like that.

LPC: Sir, we have video.

LPC: We have audio.

LPC: I've seen it.

LPC: Then show it to me.

LPC: Private property.

LPC: It's city property.

LPC: Well, then, it's my word against yours.

LPC: Now, you say, I've done this.

LPC: I'm hootin' n hollerin', I'm slobbering on the ground...

LPC: I'm telling you I didn't, because between January 2nd and January 12th I was home.

LPC: Now, you can't give me an exact date.

LPC: all you're giving me is a ten

LPC: day window. You're not telling me what type of building I'm even in for this to happen.

LPC: You're telling me all this outlandish stuff, which is not me to begin with.

LPC: So, until I see some proof from you, you're not getting a fucking dime from me!

LPC: This is noncompliance right here is what this is. And there's a surcharge for that.

LPC: To the tune of sixty nine additional dollars.

LPC: We can keep going. It's your call.

LPC: And I'm telling you.

LPC: Until I see some type of proof to your claims, you're not getting anything from me.

LPC: Just read the credit card number and we'll just put it behind us, sound good?

LPC: You're not getting a credit card until I get proof, buddy.

LPC: I've got the proof right here in my video-

LPC: Then you show me the fuckin' proof because all I have is your word that such a thing has happened!

LPC: Oh you're just joy ridin', is what you're doin.

LPC: During that time frame, I really didn't leave my house that much unless it was to go get groceries.

LPC: I have lived in Kankakee for 44 fuckin' years.

LPC: There is no grocery store on Indiana Avenue.

LPC: Sir, can you just read us the routing number?

LPC: You're not getting anything until I get fucking proof.

LPC: So stop trying to get me on money on shit that I didn't do.

LPC: Or cash?

LPC: What part of "You're not getting a dime until I get proof"

LPC: Do you even understand?

LPC: I can send you an MP3 of the audio of you spinnin' around,

LPC: whoopin' it up, acting inappropriate.

LPC: but you're not going to like what you hear any more than I did, to be frank.

LPC: Hell, burn it on a DVD because I've never received anything from an Otis Elevator.

LPC: Burn a DVD. This whole incident is burned into my memory.

LPC: It's unpleasant.

LPC: (laughs) The only thing that would have been unpleasant for you to see of anything me doing in an elevator,

LPC: would be fucking a woman...Which

LPC: I haven't done in years. And I wouldn't have done it in Kankakee County

LPC: because the elevators don't go that far.

LPC: You're out of control.

LPC: You are.

LPC: Well apparently I'm out of control on someone who has generated.. probably a pretty good scam

LPC: to get people to give them their bank account numbers so that they can drain them of their accounts.

LPC: A scam?

LPC: you're Buck Wild.

LPC: You're Buck Wild.

LPC: is what you are.

LPC: And it's far out.

LPC: Well like I said, you're making stuff up because that's not anything I would in an elevator.

LPC: You're not getting shit until you can generate proof, which I doubt you can do.

LPC: Oh, I've got the proof right here in my video machine.

LPC: So you say, but like I keep telling you, I've never heard of your company.

LPC: We have been in business for 117 years, my good man.

LPC: And apparently, like I'm.

LPC: 117 years, I'm the worst person that has been in your elevator system.

LPC: Again, you read us the routing number, we'll let it go, and I'm not going to hold anything against you.

LPC: That's how big of a guy I am, alright?

LPC: Like I said, you show me proof that I did what you said I did in your elevator,

LPC: and you might get some money.

LPC: Oh I'm getting the money, period.

LPC: There's no two ways about that.

LPC: Just a matter if I have to see you in the courtroom or not.

LPC: Sir, quit dintzing around the subject and just read the credit card number and the expiration date.

LPC: You want a credit card number. Here you go.

LPC: 0-0-0-0-0-0-0. It's all zeros because you're not getting a fucking number.

LPC: You tell me what building I'm in, and you put screenshots of what the fuck I'm doing.

LPC: And then I'll take it to my lawyer to see if it's real or not.

LPC: Oh, it's beyond real.

LPC: I've never heard of your company so you're gonna try to get my banking information

LPC: so you can go fund Al Qaeda, or ISIS or whoever the fuck you're funding at this particular moment.

LPC: I don't know, you could be funding your mom's drug habit, I don't fucking know at this moment.

LPC: But, until I get all of that, you're not getting a fucking dime. (hangs up)

LPC: Hello?

LPC: Uh, yes. This is Ray Ray with Otis Elevators calling sir.

LPC: I've never received anything from you and like I said before when you called, you're not going

LPC: to get anything until I get something. I talked to my lawyer, and my lawyer would like to see a copy

LPC: of this alleged video of me acting like an idiot in an elevator.

LPC: It's indecent for presentation. So just make the checkout to Otis Elevator.

LPC: No, you're not going to get anything until I get a bill and I get proof.

LPC: I'll give you time to get a pen, that's certainly no problem.

LPC: No. Because if you actually were Otis Elevator, you would show up on my caller ID as Otis Elevator, not Mummy Napkin.

LPC: My notes say: "Buck wild", "Drool" and "Hog wild". What am I supposed to do with that?

LPC: Well, [To friend] Hey, have you ever seen me act buck wild, drool and hog wild in an elevator?

LPC: I don't think we've ever been at an elevator in general.

LPC: Okay, so right there, your claim is disputed right there.

LPC: I'm going to put you through to my

LPC: Do you want to try this shit again?

LPC: I can't get through it.

LPC: You talk to my manager, sir.

LPC: It might be his mom.

LPC: Hello?

LPC: Hold on.

LPC: Go ahead.

LPC: What office has a dog screeching in the background? What office has a dog screeching in the background?

LPC: Huh?

LPC: Yeah, I'm refuting your claims here because I don't believe you're an actual company. I believe you're trying to scam me out of money.

LPC: Where are you calling?

LPC: Uh, actually you called me.

LPC: I did.

LPC: Yes. Whoever you have there working in your quote unquote office has called me twice, saying that they work for an Otis Elevator company.

LPC: Yeah, it's not me, man.

LPC: OK, well whoever you have there-

LPC: It's kind of funny.

LPC: This isn't an office, it's a residence.

LPC: Well, you have someone there who has called me twice, and it's popped up mummy napkin on my caller ID.

LPC: That's kind of weird, man.

LPC: No, that's not me.

LPC: It's a residence.

LPC: I'm telling me.

LPC: you that. I kind of figured it was because the guy was trying to get my information so he could

LPC: bring my account. No, you need to be careful, man.

LPC: Alright, thank you for your help.

LPC: [Manager] Right on, I wouldn't do that. Later!

LPC: Alright, alright.

Otis

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