Longmont Potion Castle 14 · 2017

Dipstick

Track 12

Needs review Lend a hand →

Track details

A

Aliases

• Federico
• Juan

E

Establishments

• UPS

---

• LPC: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Yes, this is Federico with United Parcel Service. :
  
• LPC: Who am I speaking with? :
  
• LPC: James Leefie. :
  
• LPC: Yes, we've been having a difficulty delivering your parcel :
  
• LPC: and (crazy effects), just wanted to make sure someone's gonna be around. They're dipsticks of some kind, General Motors. :
  
• LPC: And, uh, I'm a supervisor here. :
  
• LPC: Well, to the best of my knowledge, I'm not waiting for a package from General Motors. :
  
• LPC: Uh, it says Dipsticks dot com. :
  
• LPC: You haven't returned any of our voice :
  
• LPC: We've left you, sir. :
  
• LPC: Okay, I'm not expecting anything from General Motors. :
  
• LPC: It's Dipsticks dot com, sir. I believe I stated that. :
  
• LPC: To the best of my knowledge, I'm not waiting for a package from dipstick dot com. :
  
• LPC: What address are they supposedly going to be delivering this to? :
  
• LPC: Do I need to talk to, uh, somebody else, or are you the man of the house, or who am I speaking to here? :
  
• LPC: Well, I told you earlier. :
  
• LPC: My name is James Leafey. :
  
• LPC: And as I said, I'm Federico. United Parcel :
  
• LPC: Service. I've been here for seven months, uh, here at UPS. :
  
• LPC: That's fine. But what I'm trying to determine is whether or not I'm supposed to be the recipient :
  
• LPC: Ummm, I'm not expecting anything, in the automotive line, which I'm presuming :
  
• LPC: Dipstick dot com has something to do with. Either that or it's a pejorative phrase for something else, :
  
• LPC: but I'm not gonna worry about that. :
  
• LPC: Oh, you're the recipient. I can guarantee you that. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: Worked here for long enough to determine that, for myself, :
  
• LPC: I don't need to check with... :
  
• LPC: Well, I'm just trying to determine whether this was supposed to be a delivery to my business or to my home. :
  
• LPC: Oh, I've made the determination, sir. :
  
• LPC: Well, I haven't. :
  
• LPC: Oh, no. :
  
• LPC: Dipsticks dot com, sir. :
  
• LPC: If you can get in gear here, and get the payment prepared, we can resolve this this evening. Have it to ya, uhh... :
  
• LPC: Sir, I honestly think that you should contact my lawyer because I've got nothing to do with anybody named :
  
• LPC: Dickstick.com. :
  
• LPC: Ahh, we've left three voice mails, fella. :
  
• LPC: No, you have not. Not at this number. :
  
• LPC: And you have not returned any of our messages, and you haven't responded... :
  
• LPC: Since I have not gotten them, I haven't returned any. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, I know you haven't returned any. I've left you a voice mail, I've left you a slip on the door. :
  
• LPC: At this number? :
  
• LPC: I haven't heard anything from you at all. :
  
• LPC: Nothing at all. I don't know what the, uh, obstacle is, but sir, can we resolve this today? :
  
• LPC: Is my question... :
  
• LPC: Certainly, if you'll tell me where you anticipate it being delivered. :
  
• LPC: What is the delivery address on the parcel? :
  
• LPC: Well, I don't have it handy, sir. It's on the dock right now. :
  
• LPC: Ah, well! :
  
• LPC: Okay, no. :
  
• LPC: If you don't have it, then perhaps you should try finding that, so I can determine if this is legitimate. :
  
• LPC: Sir, I've made the determination, as I said. :
  
• LPC: But I have not, sir. :
  
• LPC: Well, let me just get the running number from your account, and then we'll get the payment handled. :
  
• LPC: $486. :
  
• LPC: Sir, this is obviously a scam. You'll excuse me if I hang up. :
  
• LPC: Thank you very much. :
  
• LPC: No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, I don't... :
  
• LPC: University of Tennessee. :
  
• LPC: This is Juan, ah, with UPS dot com. :
  
• LPC: What appears to be the trouble here today, sir? :
  
• LPC: I have no idea. Someone called me and said that I had a package that was supposedly being delivered :
  
• LPC: from Dipstick dot com. (Huhuhuhuh) Umm, and that I needed to line up the payment. I have never ordered anything :
  
• LPC: from any organization named Dipstick dot com. :
  
• LPC: I see. :
  
• LPC: Well, I'm the administrator here. :
  
• LPC: What did you order, and when were you... :
  
• LPC: I did not order anything. :
  
• LPC: You did not. :
  
• LPC: Apparently, you had a disagreement. :
  
• LPC: And all I was trying to determine :
  
• LPC: was what the delivery address was :
  
• LPC: on this hypothetical parcel :
  
• LPC: so I could determine whether this had :
  
• LPC: to do with my work or my :
  
• LPC: personal business. And the :
  
• LPC: And the individual that was on the phone - who :
  
• LPC: sounds suspiciously like you, :
  
• LPC: - did not have any idea where it was supposed to be delivered, which was very odd if you're United Parcel Service. :
  
• LPC: Yah I'm an administrator here. I've been working... :
  
• LPC: I don't really care if you're Jesus arisen from the grave. :
  
• LPC: If I can't determine that this is a valid delivery for me, I'm not gonna accept it. :
  
• LPC: And I don't understand anything about payment for something I have never ordered, from an organization named Dipstick dot com. :
  
• LPC: I am the embodiment of God. :
  
• LPC: I am divinity and humanity combined. :
  
• LPC: Ok, so you have a complaint (reverb), and I need a payment, and we need the best time to deliver. :
  
• LPC: Those are the three items on my agenda today, sir. :
  
• LPC: If we can get those resolved todaiy, ah we'll be in good shaipe. :
  
• LPC: I haven't ordered anything. :
  
• LPC: So I am hardly going to pay for something that I haven't ordered. :
  
• LPC: Oh oh oh oh oh oh You want to come pick it up you're saying then? :
  
• LPC: I can give you our... :
  
• LPC: No, I'm saying I did not order any item from any :
  
• LPC: organization named Dipstick dot com, which is what the first party told me. :
  
• LPC: Okay, I can tell you, I've been here for many, many years. I've seen lots of parcels of all shapes and sizes. :
  
• LPC: That's fine! But I have not ordered anything. Ok and then you wanna come pick it up? :
  
• LPC: No, I want nothing to do with it in any way, shape, or form. :
  
• LPC: K, why don't I come out there myself. Get you familiarized... :
  
• LPC: Sure. :
  
• LPC: Where are you supposed to be coming? :
  
• LPC: Well, I am in the administrative office. :
  
• LPC: And where are you supposed to be coming? :
  
• LPC: Where is the package supposedly to be de-livered? :
  
• LPC: It's a residential delivery, sir(reverb) I can promise you that. :
  
• LPC: To what address? :
  
• LPC: It's a residential address, and I've got (fine) no problem bringing that to you :
  
• LPC: Myself, I want to resolve this here today at UPS. :
  
• LPC: How 'bout this? :
  
• LPC: Yes, sir. :
  
• LPC: Why don't you give me your extension? :
  
• LPC: I will call the... :
  
• LPC: UPS global number and try to get in contact with you. :
  
• LPC: That sounds phenomenal. :
  
• LPC: Ah, I'm at area code... :
  
• LPC: No, no, no, no. :
  
• LPC: I'm going to call a UPS published number on their website and ask to speak to you. :
  
• LPC: And I need an extension number. :
  
• LPC: That's not a problem at all. :
  
• LPC: That's perfectly suitable suggestion that you've made. :
  
• LPC: I wanna commend you. :
  
• LPC: I wanna applaud your willingness to resolve this matter from Dipstick dot com. :
  
• LPC: I just need a payment, and a best time to deliver. :
  
• LPC: A payment for what? :
  
• LPC: $486. :
  
• LPC: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, yeah. :
  
• LPC: Not how much. :
  
• LPC: For what am I supposedly paying? :
  
• SPEAKER_00: Yeah, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. :
  
• LPC: For the Dipstick.com parcel that you ordered, sir, back. :
  
• LPC: But I did not order anything from Dipstick dot com :
  
• LPC: I've got you digital signature here, and... :
  
• LPC: Gee, that's nice. :
  
• LPC: Where did you get that? :
  
• LPC: Who did I order it from? :
  
• LPC: From Dipstick.com General Motors Group. :
  
• LPC: Nope. :
  
• LPC: have never ordered anything from Dipstick dot com, Chrysler, General Motors, Ford, or any other group. :
  
• LPC: It's a big, big, colorful bunch of parcels we got here for you, sir. You're gonna be delighted when we get there. :
  
• LPC: I sincerely doubt it. I don't think I ordered this. Thank you very much... :
  
• LPC: What's the best time to get there today? :