Arthur: Crime, desk, what's going to do for you?

Ruby: Oh, I said, my name is Ruby, and I understand you want to make a donation to the Jewish Walsat Trump?

Arthur: You know, I don’t know where you people are gettin’ this crap from.

Arthur: I don’t know where you’re gettin’ our telephone, 'cause this is a news desk—a Crime News Desk.

Ruby: Sir, whoever put you on the phone was— called us,

Ruby: we did not call you, sir. Or

Ruby: Whoever the gentleman was that transfer the calls to you, he was the one that put you on the phone.

Arthur: Now this is the second telephone call I got from you damn people,

Arthur: So lay off.

SPEAKER_05: Thank you, pardon.

Arthur: Hey, pardon.

Arthur: This is a police line, you stupid bitch!

Matt: Hello.

Matt: Is this Mike?

Mike: Yeah.

Matt: Avery told me to contact you.

Mike: Oh, okay.

Mike: This is.

Matt: My name is Matt Lobus.

Mike: Okay.

Matt: And what is your full name?

SPEAKER_04: Michael.

Matt: How do you spell that last name?

Mike: Oh, what did, uh… Avery tell you to contact me about?

Matt: That you wanted to give a donation to the Polish Legion American Veterans.

Mike: To—? [laughs] Oh I…’m not workin’ right now, so I can’t do any donations.

Matt: Okay, that’s alright with me.

Matt: Just, uh…— Well tell Avery not to… give his money away like that.

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

Arthur: What can I do for ya?

Man(1): Hi, is this Arthur?

Arthur: Yes.

Man(1): I was actually just transferred to the phone number.

Man(1): Uh, someone wanted to make it a donation to the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans.

Arthur: I don’t donate to none o’ those crooked companies.

Man(1): Someone just sent me to this number.

Man(1): They told me to ask for Arthur.

Arthur: Hell, I’m a federal police news reporter and this is one o’ their hotlines

Arthur: [inhales] and we’re tryin’ to still find out who in the hell’s been givin’ out our number.

Man(1): Well this is a… nonprofit organization, so it wouldn’t be us.

Travis: Hello?

Woman(1): Hi, can I speak to Travis?

Travis: This is him.

Woman(1): Hi, Travis.

Woman(1): I’m calling from the National Amputation Foundation.

Woman(1): I just received a phone call from Mr. Barnes.

Travis: What is this?

Woman(1): This is the National Amputation Foundation.

Woman(1): I was just transferred to you.

Woman(1): He said that you were looking to send a cash donation

Woman(1): to the organization.

Woman(1): You don’t know what I’m talking about?

Travis: No.

Travis: What’s the first name… from "Barnes"?

Woman(1): Caller I.D. said "A-T-T" on it.

Woman(1): I don’t know.

Woman(1): He said that you had asked him to find the name of the organization that you wanted to send a donation to.

Woman(1): He did.

Woman(1): He called us—he

Woman(1): got us—and then he transferred me to you!

Travis: [chuckles] Yeah, the "National Amputation Association"?

Woman(1): It’s the National Amputation Foundation.

Woman(1): It’s a veteran’s organization.

Travis: I got nothin’ to do with that,

Travis: I’m sorry.

Woman(1): Alright,

Woman(1): That's not a problem.

SPEAKER_05: Bye-bye.

Lucy: Hello.

Arthur: I'm a candidate.

Arthur: Hi, caller.

Arthur: What do you want?

Lucy: Hi, sir.

Lucy: My name is Lucy from a friend.

Lucy: the Military Officers Association of America.

Lucy: I just spoke with your son,

Lucy: and he said that you’d been trying to reach us

Lucy: about making a donation to M-O-A-A.

Arthur: If you talked to my son,

Arthur: he would’ve told you to go to hell.

Man(3): Hello?

Man(2): Hello, good evening.

Man(2): how may I help you?

Man(3): I didn't know.

Man(3): Why are you calling?

Man(2): Uh… No, I’m not calling anybody,

Man(2): sir. I— Actually, I just got a call from one of your colleagues, uh, ya know,

Man(2): regarding some foundations for the club,

Man(2): but I just wanted to inform you

Man(2): that you have to go back in the morning

Man(2): and speak to a member of the management.

Man(3): What is the "Club"?—

Man(2): That's an army club, sir.

Man(2): That’s a military club.

Man(2): That is the Cavalry and Guards Club.—

Man(3): I see, I got it.

Man(3): But— But I… I.. I’m not aware about any Club and, uh… it’s some kind of mistake.

Man(2): Well, sir, I don't know because I'm just saying that.

Man(3): No, no, I understand that.

SPEAKER_08: I just have a call.

Man(3): I got a call, I think,

Man(3): from this number before as well.

Man(3): so… so— But I don’t know if you can help me

Man(3): to take me out of the list of [chuckles] numbers.

Man(2): So, I don't just, I just, but, well,

Man(2): you know, it's nothing really I can say,

Man(2): because I just have a phone call from somebody, sir.

Man(2): And then I will put it to two to speak to my colleague.

Man(2): So I'm just going to give you exactly the same answer

Man(2): I give to your colleague.

Man(2): Any matters, you know, regarding what your colleague

Man(2): talking about, because I'm getting very confused at the moment,

Man(2): is you have to call your colleague.

Man(2): in the morning and you have to speak to Sir and Marshall.

SPEAKER_08: Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Arthur: Wireless phone. 7-1-2-7-6-8-2-8-9. What do you need?

Selma: Hello. This is Thelman from the Women's Memorial. I understand that you were trying to contact this.

Arthur: What the hell am I calling dead women’s clubs for?! And I don’t know where you’re gettin’ this

Arthur: telephone number from! I’m a federal police news reporter and you’re… comin’ in on my police line, here! You women are nuts!—

Arthur: You women are nuts. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05: That'd be us electronics. Is this really? Yes, it is. Hi. Hi. I just had someone named Mr. Barnes call me and

SPEAKER_05: tell me that you wanted to make a donation of some kind. A donation? A donation? Okay. Tell me about it.

Woman(2): That you wanted to make a donation.

Willie: What?

Woman(2): To our Foundation for the scholarship fund.

Willie: Scholarship Fund for what?

Woman(2): American Military Retirees Association.

Woman(2): Do you know who Mr. Barnes is?

SPEAKER_05: It's a look.

Woman(2): Uh, we’re not quite sure what’s going on, here.

Willie: Well, neither am I.

Woman(2): We— Mr. Barnes called us.

Willie: Okay.

Willie: Well, that...

Woman(2): Sounds like one of those "punk" things. [laughs]

Willie: I— If Mr. Barnes is the guy that I think he is, he would never have done

Willie: that. So, uh, nice try, asshole.

Man(4): Hello?

Woman(3): Yes, this is Juanita Port, the gateway station, Port Wachuka.

Woman(3): And who am I speaking to?

Man(4): Okay, I'm not sure I got, who is calling?

Woman(3): You wanted to talk to somebody in the radio room?

Man(4): Yeah, I have no clue.

Woman(3): I have no clue either.

Man(4): I'm not sure who is responsible for that, but I cannot help anything.

Woman(3): Does this have to do with any kinda radio communication?

Man(4): No, I— I have no idea.

Woman(3): O…kay.

Woman(3): Are you trying to get ahold of a MARS station?

Woman(3): I don’t call myself a "MARS station".

Woman(3): I am the Mars Gateway.

Man(4): No, it’s something wrong with this phone, because, uh, I already getting this phone calls and—

Woman(3): I know. This is the second time.

Man(4): Right, right.

Woman(3): I know. I’m having the same problem.

Woman(3): I’m talkin’ to someone else and then all of a sudden you come into the phone conversation.

Man(4): Ugh, no, I mean, I have no

Man(4): intentions…

Woman(3): Oh, I know you don’t, sir!

Woman(3): I have no intentions of talkin’ to you, either.

Man(4): So I'm thinking of whom you should complain about this.

Man(4): Have you any idea, you know?

Woman(3): I have no idea.

Woman(3): Did you pick up or something?

Man(4): No, I— I just getting a… ring and I’m picking up the phone and that’s it.

Man(4): I mean, and I see your number.

Woman(3): I— I know, but I didn’t call.

Arthur: Don't give me your name.

Arthur: don’t use my fuckin’ number!

Woman(3): Sir, I’ve talked to three people on

Woman(3): your conversation.

Woman(3): Whadda you need to know about the Mars program, sir?

SPEAKER_05: One four-six.

Arthur: I'm wondering what the hell wrong you?

Arthur: give your fuckin’ name!

Woman(3): We don’t know what’s going on!

Woman(3): For some reason, three phone calls are interacting right now.

Woman(3): We have no clue right now.

Woman(3): We’re trying to fix it, sir.

Woman(3): I’m just gonna try calling you back,

Woman(3): So hang up, sir.

Arthur: Stick it up your ass!

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