Track details
-
LPC: Hello, human head.
-
LPC: You got anything by hobo barf up for?
-
LPC: I'm not sure. Uh,
-
SPEAKER_00: We don't have everything cataloged.
-
SPEAKER_00: I can look online for you if we have that listed in our inventory.
-
LPC: Yeah.
-
LPC: Sure.
-
LPC: Wait.
-
LPC: What?
-
LPC: Hobo barf.
-
LPC: Hobo Barf. Split E.P. with Basilica Gel that I was lookin' for.
-
LPC: Good gel.
-
LPC: Good, Joe.
-
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
-
LPC: Wait, what are you doing?
-
LPC: How are you making those noises?
-
LPC: Ah, right?
-
LPC: Priscilla Jones?
-
LPC: You want Priscilla Jones?
-
LPC: No, they're called Basilica Gel.
-
LPC: So what do you got in stock?
-
LPC: Oh, my God.
-
SPEAKER_02: Hey, oh, this is Tyler?
-
LPC: This is Dickie Lipton.
-
SPEAKER_00: Oh, my God.
-
SPEAKER_00: I gotta ring people up man.
-
LPC: Oh!
-
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
-
SPEAKER_02: This is great.
-
None: Oh!
-
LPC: No!
-
LPC: - Hello, Jazz Record Mart.
-
LPC: Oh!
-
LPC: Yeah, who?
-
LPC: You guys do consignment up 'ere?
-
LPC: Consignment.
-
SPEAKER_02: Uh, not today,
-
SPEAKER_02: You'll have to come in and speak to one of the managers.
-
SPEAKER_02: R.T. or Kent would be the one to talk to.
-
SPEAKER_02: What is that?
-
SPEAKER_02: Who?
-
SPEAKER_02: R.T. or Ken? Do you have, like, a pack of wild dogs in the background or something, man?
-
None: Oh!
-
LPC: You don't allow dogs, you're saying, right?
-
LPC: Allow dogs.
-
SPEAKER_02: Not generally. No.
-
SPEAKER_02: Oh!
-
SPEAKER_02: Ok man.
-
LPC: Hello?
-
LPC: Hi, yeah. I'm Frederick Frick.
-
LPC: I got your number from Chaplain Crabtree.
-
LPC: I'm just trying to get distribution for our band.
-
LPC: Did you just call a second ago?
-
LPC: No, I did not.
-
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
-
SPEAKER_02: YES, you did!
-
LPC: We're musical gnomes. We're called Wallet-sized Wildfire.
-
SPEAKER_02: Don't call again. Bye.
-
SPEAKER_01: - Jazz Record Mart.
-
LPC: Hi, yeah. I got a local band. We're looking to get some distribution.
-
SPEAKER_01: The buyer is zero.
-
SPEAKER_01: banker's hours, he's gonna be here Monday through Friday...
-
LPC: Oh, yeah?
-
SPEAKER_01: I'm just a clerk.
-
LPC: Are you gonna stand by your remarks, when I call back at that hour?
-
SPEAKER_01: What remarks?
-
LPC: Or is this just a big Ho-Ax up 'ere?
-
SPEAKER_01: I didn't talk to anybody.
-
SPEAKER_01: I talked to that other guy maybe, but I haven't spoken to anybody before today...
-
SPEAKER_01: Oh!
-
SPEAKER_01: it doesn't really matter. What do you want, you're gonna sell a record to us?
-
SPEAKER_01: The buyers here, the buyer's the guy who does that. I'm not allowed to.
-
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
-
SPEAKER_01: Bye.
-
SPEAKER_01: Jazz Record Mart?
-
LPC: I'm calling from Doctor Fiddlesticks.
-
LPC: We got a juke box up 'ere, and we're trying to stock the thing.
-
LPC: It didn't come with any vinyl.
-
SPEAKER_01: We got some, yeah. But
-
SPEAKER_01: It's been gone over quite a bit.
-
SPEAKER_01: I mean, our 45 vinyl, it's been sucked dry.
-
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
-
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
-
SPEAKER_01: Bye.
-
Alex Trebek: Hello, vortex, here.
-
LPC: Oh!
-
SPEAKER_00: Good day.
-
SPEAKER_00: What's happening?
-
LPC: I'm Frederick Frick.
-
LPC: I'm interested in entering into a gentlemen's agreement with 'ye.
-
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
-
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
-
SPEAKER_00: ok. What would this agreement entail?
-
LPC: I'm a local band.
-
LPC: We're called Wallet-Sized Wildfire.
-
LPC: We're gnomes, and I think that really sets us apart.
-
LPC: We're looking to get some distribution.
-
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
-
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not up for it.
-
SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
-
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I've got to go now.
-
LPC: We're the only gnomes in the area though.
-
LPC: Crime desk.
-
LPC: what can I do for ya?
-
LPC: I'm calling from Citizens United for Bill Cosby.
-
LPC: And we're looking.
-
LPC: looking for a pledge today.
-
LPC: Hey, fuckhead.
-
Arthur Schaffner: I'm a police reporter and we've got your fuckin' number!
-
LPC: Hey, prickhead.
-
LPC: what can I do for ya?
-
LPC: Yeah.
-
LPC: can't we find a solution here for Billy Cosby?
-
LPC: Hey! Drop my telephone number, ya fuckface!
-
LPC: You know, AT&T?
-
LPC: Hello.
-
LPC: Put a trace on that line.
-
LPC: I'm calling from San Clemente.
-
LPC: I don't give a damn where you're calling from,
-
LPC: This is a police line.
-
LPC: What you're doin' - you're interruptin'
-
LPC: and everything else.
-
Arthur Schaffner: If you think you - you're using the unlisted phone, our equipment shows different. So -
-
LPC: Well what about Doctor Bill Cosby?
-
LPC: Bury the sonofabitch!
-
LPC: Oh, yeah.
-
Arthur Schaffner: Go to hell, dead n****r
-
LPC: Wade, Wade.
-
LPC: Wade.
-
LPC: Hello?
-
LPC: Wade.
-
LPC: Who is it?
-
LPC: Marcus.
-
LPC: Marcus who?
-
LPC: Wade.
-
LPC: Yeah.
-
LPC: What's up?
-
LPC: What's up?
-
LPC: I'm gonna block this number
-
LPC: dude, I don't even know you.
-
LPC: You can block it all you want. (hang up).
-
LPC: Hello?
-
LPC: Hey, what's cooking?
-
LPC: Hey, I'm about to block this number too, dude.
-
LPC: Oh, good.
-
LPC: I don't want to talk to you anyhow.
-
LPC: Well I don't even know...who
-
LPC: Who is this?
-
LPC: The chauffeur.
-
LPC: The chauffeur of what?
-
LPC: A car.
-
LPC: Do you think I hand out fishing licences?
-
LPC: I'm a teamster.
-
LPC: So, so, so, so, so, so, so.
-
LPC: Fucking automated, this is an automated machine?
-
LPC: I'm gonna automate your teeth. Automatically knock 'em out, when I see ya.
-
LPC: It'll be tough dude,
-
LPC: I wish you would show up at this fucking job site, and I'll beat the fucking brakes off ya.
-
LPC: I'm gonna block this number too, you fucking idiot.
-
LPC: I don't want to talk to you anyhow,
-
LPC: Your voice is dumb sounding.
-
LPC: Your voice is dumb sounding.
-
LPC: Your voice is dumb, Marcus.
-
LPC: Holy fuck.
-
Alex Trebek: Hello?
-
Alex Trebek: Yes?
-
Alex Trebek: Hello?
-
Alex Trebek: Yes?
-
Alex Trebek: Oh, okay.
-
Alex Trebek: it sounded like the phone disconnected.
-
Alex Trebek: Wait a minute.
-
Alex Trebek: Did your phone ring?
-
Alex Trebek: No, but I heard a ring.
-
Alex Trebek: You heard it ring?
-
Alex Trebek: Yeah.
-
Alex Trebek: Okay.
-
Alex Trebek: You're not calling anybody.
-
Alex Trebek: Ah, you just called me, didn’t you?
-
Alex Trebek: No, there's somebody who's managed to learn how to cross-connect different phones
-
Alex Trebek: so that people in different areas have their phones ring at the same time
-
Alex Trebek: And, uh, they all wonder what the hell’s going on,
-
Alex Trebek: so...somebody’s having fun at our expense.
-
Alex Trebek: Where are you?
-
Alex Trebek: I’m in Southern California.
-
LPC: I am, too.
-
Alex Trebek: Oh, okay.
-
Alex Trebek: well, hopefully they’ll get tired of screwing with us.
-
LPC: It's just too bad.
-
LPC: I can’t really imagine.
-
Alex Trebek: Yeah.
-
LPC: I can't really imagine.
-
Alex Trebek: Who's that other voice?
-
None: Hmm?
-
LPC: I can't.
-
LPC: I just read it out.
-
LPC: I can't figure it out.
-
LPC: (LPC) I can’t figure it out.
-
LPC: Yeah.
-
LPC: What's that now?
-
SPEAKER_05: Hello?
-
SPEAKER_05: Hi.
-
SPEAKER_05: I guess they transferred me to you.
-
SPEAKER_05: I, I’m part of the Hollywood Wax Museum.
-
SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
-
SPEAKER_05: (WM) And I guess you were trying to get a, a wax figure made?
-
SPEAKER_05: I was.
-
SPEAKER_05: Who transferred you?
-
SPEAKER_05: Rocky.
-
SPEAKER_05: (Alex) Rocky said this?
-
SPEAKER_05: That's what Rocky said.
-
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
-
SPEAKER_05: Are you sure you got the right person?
-
SPEAKER_05: Who are you calling?
-
SPEAKER_05: (WM) I, I spoke to Rocky, and he said that he was gonna transfer me to you. I guess to do a wax figure of you, for Alex.
-
SPEAKER_05: and pretty much just to get some more information on it.
-
SPEAKER_05: (Alex) Well, who wants a wax image of me?
-
SPEAKER_05: Rocky.
-
SPEAKER_05: Rocky does?
-
SPEAKER_05: (WM) Yeah, that’s what he said.
-
SPEAKER_05: Hmm.
-
SPEAKER_05: well, you’ve taken me completely by surprise,
-
SPEAKER_05: I know nothing about this, so…
-
SPEAKER_05: So I'm sorry.
-
SPEAKER_05: I heard about it.
-
SPEAKER_05: I, I know that he’s been calling a couple time to see if it’s something that we can do.
-
SPEAKER_05: Let me talk to Rocky about this and find out what's...
-
SPEAKER_05: Okay, we'll do.
-
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
-
LPC: Viacom.
-
LPC: Hello?
-
Alex Trebek: Viacom?
-
Alex Trebek: Boy, did I miss dial.
-
Alex Trebek: Sorry about that.
-
LPC: Yes, sir.
-
LPC: Who are you trying to reach here?
-
Alex Trebek: (Alex) Uh, I’m trying to dial an outside line.
-
LPC: (LPC) Uh, apparently you’re trying to procure a sculpture.
-
LPC: No.
-
LPC: (LPC) Who am I speaking with?
-
Alex Trebek: (Alex) You’re speaking with Alex Trebek, and I’m not trying to secure anything.
-
Alex Trebek: So I will try again.
-
LPC: Yes, sir?
-
LPC: Go drum.
-
LPC: I just got tons and tons of songs and arrangements,
-
LPC: and I’ve got ‘em for every style:
-
LPC: Latin, rock, jazz, you know.
-
LPC: It's amazing, man.
-
LPC: You got it all.
-
LPC: I can mix different styles.
-
LPC: I can put in like a jazz thing with a rock thing with a flamenco thing.
-
LPC: It’s just crazy man,
-
LPC: It’s like endless, you know, with all the different styles.”
-
Alex Trebek: That’s awesome!
-
LPC: You can make records, man.
-
Alex Trebek: It's fucking awesome.
-
LPC: You know, I could start working with other singers and tell them, look,
-
LPC: you got to pay me hundreds of thousands of dollars to do this,
-
LPC: And it's like, you know.
-
LPC: What's going on?
-
LPC: “I’ve just recently found that you can mix tempos.
-
LPC: I put four or four temples into 60 temples.
-
LPC: Fuck, yeah.
-
LPC: Three against four, two against two, one-on-one.
-
LPC: That's some great basketball games.
-
LPC: You know, just because it sounds better.
-
LPC: Let me play you something real quick, just so you get an idea.
-
LPC: Wait a minute, I don't have it plugged in.
-
LPC: Let me see, what was I going to do?
-
LPC: Oh, yeah, man.
-
LPC: I just don’t have it recorded.”
-
SPEAKER_00: Well you gotta get on that.
-
LPC: “I’ve got some rock things I’ve done in the past, with heavy metal and like punk music.”
-
LPC: Right?
-
LPC: Oh, absolutely.
-
LPC: oh yeah the rock thing, that’s easy.
-
LPC: That's like a piece of cake.
-
LPC: Two and four.
-
LPC: Two and four take the money, go home.
-
LPC: “Yeah, I do mostly jazz, ‘cause that’s the hard shit. You know,
-
LPC: where they’re playing something, you know, different every beat.
-
LPC: And different inversions and chords,
-
LPC: I mean that’s some hard shit.
-
LPC: And then playing like Elvin Jones, you know.
-
LPC: Sling Elvin.
-
LPC: But rock and roll is just da-nan-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-h-h.
-
Alex Trebek: Two and four.
-
Alex Trebek: Alright, well I gotta run.
-
LPC: “And you got, a lot of country, and then you can mix country stuff with the rock and roll,
-
LPC: you can actually put in hip-hop and you gotta experiment around, you know.”
-
LPC: Got it.
-
LPC: Alright.
-
LPC: I mix things up a lot.
-
LPC: I put different time signature instruments in with different time-signature instruments,
-
LPC: put a different drummer on, or a different piano player, or a different guitar player.
-
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, fuck, yeah.
-
LPC: cool. Go on and let me know when you come on in, alright?
-
LPC: Gina.