Longmont Potion Castle 11 · 2014

Swamp Donkey

Track 2

Needs review Lend a hand →

Track details

A

Aliases

• Schneider Webb

---

• LPC: Good afternoon, Manzanita Outfitters, Matthew speaking. :
  
• LPC: Matthew, my name's Schneider...Webb. :
  
• LPC: Yes, sir. :
  
• LPC: I wanted to get outfitted like a swamp donkey. :
  
• LPC: Sorry? :
  
• LPC: Something of that nature. :
  
• LPC: Ok, I don't know what a swamp donkey :
  
• LPC: is- What's a swamp donkey? :
  
• LPC: You got to help you out. :
  
• LPC: [belchy sound effects] Well, you know I'm a shepherd, that's something I've encountered many times over the years. And I'm a herder. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: You know I'm usually the one leading the cheearge. :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: So are you... :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: you looking for something with greater protection, :
  
• LPC: or are you looking for like...a rain jacket, or a shell? Or :
  
• LPC: Are you actually looking for a costume? :
  
• LPC: I'm looking for a husk. :
  
• LPC: A husk? :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: I'm sorry sir, what's that sound in there? :
  
• LPC: The lady at Ooh La La said I could talk to you about it. :
  
• LPC: Oh, yeah, okay. :
  
• LPC: So I don't know what's a husk? :
  
• LPC: You mean like a corn husk? :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, I don't think we'll have corn husks here. :
  
• LPC: You know, there's some rough stuff out there when you're a shepherd, :
  
• LPC: so I need someone who's going to do the job. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, yeah, I get that. :
  
• LPC: Maybe Cal Ranch might have something like that. :
  
• LPC: They deal with more animal products, and :
  
• LPC: They have feed and stuff geared for livestock. :
  
• LPC: We're more just outdoors a year, you know, tents and sleeping bags, rainwater. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, well I'm not sitting here playing 'Whack-A-Mole,' fella. :
  
• LPC: It's some rough stuff up 'ere, you know what I mean? :
  
• LPC: Yeah, it is. :
  
• LPC: Anything to make. :
  
• LPC: like, look like a porcupine? Something of that type? :
  
• LPC: A porcupine? :
  
• LPC: Um, no, I mean, yeah, there's another place off the grid. :
  
• LPC: they got like camo paint and stuff like that, if you just kinda wanted to blend in. :
  
• LPC: I don't know, I'm not really sure about these. :
  
• LPC: Wow. :
  
• LPC: Sure. :
  
• LPC: The Swamp Donkey thing, can you just make something customized, perhaps? :
  
• LPC: Well, I don't even know. :
  
• LPC: Maybe it's true. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, I'm sorry, sir. :
  
• LPC: I don't think we're gonna be able you out there, with the swamp donkey. :
  
• LPC: Well I'm tossing tranquilizer darts on a daily basis. And I- :
  
• LPC: You're taking tranquilizer darts on a daily basis? [laughs] :
  
• LPC: No, I'm throwing them, sir. :
  
• LPC: It's part of my job. :
  
• LPC: Oh. :
  
• LPC: I'm a herder. :
  
• LPC: I lead the cheearge, :
  
• LPC: That's what I do. :
  
• LPC: Right, right, yeah. :
  
• LPC: It's time to go pet it all the metal there, guy. :
  
• LPC: All right, yeah. :
  
• LPC: Alright, yeah, sorry man. :
  
• LPC: Uh, don't think we got anything like :
  
• LPC: that, but feel free to come by the store. Buh-bye. :
  
• LPC: You got me? :
  
• LPC: Good afternoon, Anthony. :
  
• LPC: I'll finish. :
  
• LPC: Matthew speaking. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, what do you guys got going :
  
• LPC: on over there? A darn bingo game? :
  
• LPC: I don't know why you're asking me :
  
• LPC: if this is a bingo parlor, :
  
• LPC: You're the one calling us. :
  
• LPC: I'm just trying to get some information here. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, but I've talked to you first, sir. :
  
• LPC: Listen, this isn't a game. :
  
• LPC: This isn't a joke. This is a business. :
  
• LPC: Are you barefoot, Bob, or :
  
• LPC: who are ya? I don't even know who I'm talkin' to. :
  
• LPC: I just told you my name :
  
• LPC: when I picked up the telephone, sir. :
  
• LPC: I'm not gonna play this game with you. :
  
• LPC: If you call back again, we're going to call the police, okay? :
  
• LPC: I'm a paying customer. :
  
• LPC: Okay, man, but listen, you're not making sense. :
  
• LPC: You're asking us for things we don't have. :
  
• LPC: We don't have a porcupine suit. :
  
• LPC: We don't have a swamp donkey suit. :
  
• LPC: But the lady... :
  
• LPC: I'm serious, man. :
  
• LPC: If you call back again, I'm going to write your telephone number down, :
  
• LPC: and then we're gonna call the police. :
  
• LPC: I'm furious with you. :
  
• LPC: I really am. :
  
• LPC: Okay, what do you need, sir? :
  
• LPC: I want to look like a holographic donkey. :
  
• LPC: End of paragraph. :
  
• LPC: Man, this is an :
  
• LPC: outdoor camping and outfitting store. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, well you're talkin' to a shepherd, :
  
• LPC: so no one knows more about it than I do, frankly. :
  
• LPC: Then you're going to have to build it yourself. :
  
• LPC: We don't have holograms. :
  
• LPC: We don't have suits here, sir, okay? :
  
• LPC: This is the end of the conversation, sir. :
  
• LPC: I'm serious. :
  
• LPC: You can't call back. :
  
• LPC: Don't disturb me or any of our other associates. :
  
• LPC: Hello, sir. :
  
• LPC: can you stop calling this store? :
  
• LPC: '[growl]' Just sell me some rubber boots, :
  
• LPC: That's all I need. :
  
• LPC: We don't have rubber boots here. :
  
• LPC: What do you have? :
  
• LPC: trying to find out, but :
  
• LPC: I keep getting disconnected. :
  
• LPC: Alright sir, :
  
• LPC: so what we're gonna do here is, we're gonna block your number... :
  
• LPC: Just sell me some holographic boots. :
  
• LPC: We don't have any holograms, any holographs, nothing like that. Nothing. :
  
• LPC: We're gonna call the police. :