Longmont Potion Castle 11 · 2014

LPC 11 Medley 2

Track 7 · Type: 📞 Call

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Track details

A

Aliases

• Dominic
• Juan

E

Establishments

• Latrina.com

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• LPC: Yes, I wanted to buy a VCR. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, we don't have VCR. :
  
• LPC: Ok I want to buy, record player. :
  
• LPC: We don't have record player. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: what you have just crap, or...? :
  
• LPC: We don't have crap. :
  
• LPC: We do have nice things. :
  
• LPC: iPod, the laptop. :
  
• LPC: This is a crap shop? :
  
• LPC: No, it's not a crap shop. :
  
• LPC: This is a pawn shop. :
  
• LPC: You sell, uh, slop? :
  
• LPC: No. :
  
• LPC: This is a pawn shop. :
  
• LPC: It's not a crap shop that you're looking for. :
  
• LPC: Slop shop? :
  
• LPC: There's a crap shop right there in the, uh, Avenue 51. :
  
• LPC: It's not a pawn shop. :
  
• LPC: Yes. :
  
• LPC: you uh, have crap? :
  
• LPC: No crap. :
  
• LPC: No grab leg. :
  
• LPC: Is this a slop shop? :
  
• LPC: It's not a slop shop. :
  
• LPC: Good action, Don's. :
  
• LPC: Hi, Don's Otto? :
  
• None: Yes. :
  
• LPC: Yes. :
  
• LPC: My name’s Colt. :
  
• LPC: Hello, Colt. :
  
• LPC: (belch sounds) I’m gonna be calling up some taxi cabs and sending them to your garage there. :
  
• None: Taxi cabs? :
  
• LPC: Yeah. So that next time you see a “No Soliciting” sign, :
  
• LPC: maybe you’ll stop putting your advertisements on my door every time. :
  
• None: Oh. :
  
• LPC: But maybe you’ll luck out, and one of them will want service, because I don’t. :
  
• LPC: What happened? :
  
• LPC: Did somebody put some advertisements on your door? :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: So I’ll check back with you and find out how many cabs actually showed up, and what happened, :
  
• LPC: Okay? :
  
• LPC: Um, you know, well, yeah, I, you know, I'm not really sure what you did exactly talking about. :
  
• LPC: have to ask my boss. :
  
• LPC: You can let him know. :
  
• LPC: What’s his name? Don? :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: That’s really nice of you Colt. :
  
• LPC: Ok, cool. :
  
• LPC: Can you send some donuts and coffee? :
  
• LPC: Psssh, I doubt it. :
  
• LPC: Ah, come on! :
  
• LPC: So I’m just gonna call cabs, alright? :
  
• LPC: That’s, I mean whatever you want to do, dude. It doesn’t matter to me, :
  
• LPC: I really give your shit less. :
  
• LPC: Okay. :
  
• LPC: Alright, hold on, :
  
• LPC: give me one second. :
  
• LPC: I'll give you about 90 minutes, so check it out, man. :
  
• LPC: Good afternoon. :
  
• LPC: Hi, cut out to Don. :
  
• LPC: Colt, is that you? :
  
• LPC: Yes, it is. :
  
• LPC: Did anybody show up? :
  
• LPC: Fucking 15 people. :
  
• LPC: show that, bro. Why are you doing that? :
  
• LPC: Is Don there? :
  
• LPC: He’s not here dude, I’m the one, I’m the foreman, I’m the guy in the front office. :
  
• LPC: Really, is this funny, though, Colt? Come on man, the people, they have businesses to run, dude. :
  
• LPC: That’s pretty funny. :
  
• LPC: You should feel ba…It is funny, I mean I was laughing too, but you should feel bad for them, dude. :
  
• LPC: You know, you’re making people run around for no reason. :
  
• LPC: Did you get some food? :
  
• LPC: We got Dominoes dude, but we couldn’t take it. :
  
• LPC: Domino's, but we can't take it. :
  
• LPC: Dominoes? :
  
• LPC: What do you spend it before lunch, bro? :
  
• LPC: today? :
  
• LPC: No, but honestly man, it not a cool call. I mean, you know, you kind of, you know, you’re hurting other people’s business. :
  
• LPC: other people's business. I sent two limousines down there, too, before five. :
  
• LPC: Two limos? Befor…Colt, do you work dude? I don’t understand. :
  
• LPC: This is work. What do you think this phone just dials itself? :
  
• LPC: Yeah, it's kind of cool. Yeah, it's all right. :
  
• LPC: I’m not sure what you want to do, man. I mean, my boss will be here soon, if you want to leave me a number, I’ll have him call you back. :
  
• LPC: I'll have them call you back. Yeah, you have caller ID. You just call me back. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, but we called, your phone number is just going to voice mail, like you don’t want to pick up. :
  
• LPC: I don’t want to pick up. You’re right. :
  
• LPC: (Laughs) Then why’d you say ‘call me back’? Make up your mind, buddy. :
  
• LPC: Well, you can leave a message, and don’t leave any more fliers. :
  
• LPC: What fliers are you talking about? :
  
• LPC: Your fliers. They’re everywhere. They’re in my yard, they’re in my driveway. :
  
• LPC: How many fliers did you get? :
  
• LPC: This week? Yeah. :
  
• LPC: Two. And it’s only Tuesday. :
  
• LPC: Ok, you got two fliers this week? :
  
• LPC: Yeah. So now, I’m gonna come down and knock you around a little bit. What do you think of that one? :
  
• LPC: You're going to knock me out? :
  
• LPC: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: (Laughs) Please come Colt. I would love for you :
  
• LPC: to come find me, man. Honestly. You got it. :
  
• LPC: I’ll be waiting for you. Ok. :
  
• LPC: I’ll see you. Thank you. Bye. :
  
• LPC: Bye. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Hi, pizza. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: What? :
  
• LPC: Pizza. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Pizza? :
  
• LPC: Yes, pizza. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: What about pizza? :
  
• LPC: I'd like to get some, wouldn't you? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I would love to pizza. :
  
• LPC: Let's get one. What do you? Let's get one cooking. What do you say? :
  
• LPC: I'd like a dolla dolla :
  
• LPC: make ya holla special. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, somebody you can hook me holler. :
  
• LPC: Can you guys hook me up? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Maybe. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I don't know. :
  
• LPC: Hey, look, it's Tuesday special, right? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Um, you're having a wrong number. :
  
• LPC: I have the wrong number. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: Dalla, Dala, make you holla. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: We don't do it about that. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: We do the $100, maybe you can get a little job. :
  
• LPC: Come on, try it. :
  
• LPC: Dalla, make you holla. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: No. :
  
• LPC: Tuesday special. One of each kind of thing. What do you say? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I mean, maybe. The pizza's good but the, you know, the blowjobs are way better. :
  
• LPC: You and I can enjoy a little pizza, then you can tend to your other job. Do you think you can handle that? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Um, well, me personally I can do both, I think I'm pretty good. I like using my mouth and my tongue. :
  
• LPC: Alright, Tuesday special. :
  
• LPC: So how bout a Diner's Club card? :
  
• LPC: I guess that's a no on Diner's Club. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: You know. :
  
• LPC: Let's buckle down here and work it through. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I mean, can you do what I can do? :
  
• LPC: Oh I always wanna do the Tuesday special. :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Are you, are you sure? You can do what I can do? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: I mean you called here so what can you do? :
  
• LPC: Is that a cat in the background? :
  
• SPEAKER_04: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: Okay. She's good to go. :
  
• None: Yeah. :
  
• LPC: Okay. That sound means it's time to go. I'll be stopping in, you're gonna see a checkbook, you're gonna see plastic, you're gonna see... a lot when I show up over there, okay? So thanks for you time and, uh, for the Tuesday special dolla dolla make ya holla. Dolla dolla make you holla, you're welcome. :
  
• LPC: Okay, bye. :
  
• LPC: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Yes, this is Dominic with UPS. :
  
• LPC: Yes. :
  
• LPC: Yes, we came out there yesterday to bring a box to you, but there was so much sound and noise that no one even came to the door. :
  
• LPC: so we're going to have to send this box back to the sender, just wanted to let you know. :
  
• LPC: There was so much noise. :
  
• LPC: Oh, ma'am, there was so much commotion and chaos there that our driver had to leave. :
  
• LPC: So we have to send this thing back, and we're going to need you to cover the amount of postage. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: What is it? :
  
• LPC: It's from Latrina dot com. :
  
• LPC: I don't think I ordered anything from Latrina. :
  
• LPC: And it's $38.88 that we need from you, and we'll send someone by to pick that up and cash or check. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I'm not accepting it. :
  
• LPC: No, we're sending it back, ma'am. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Well, I, uh, I don't know what it is to begin with and you could have left it on the front porch. :
  
• LPC: Oh, not with the chaos we heard last night, ma'am. :
  
• LPC: You were making sounds and smoke was :
  
• LPC: coming out. Things were going wild over there. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't know what you are talking about. :
  
• LPC: I'm talking about the chaos at your place there. :
  
• LPC: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Ma'am, we're sending this back to Latrina dot com, ok? :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Bring it to me then. :
  
• LPC: Oh, it's a little late for that. We tried all night, and you were just banging away on pots and pans or :
  
• LPC: something in there. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Ok, you're lying. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: You're lying. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Nobody was uh, uh doing anything with a pot and a pan. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: There was no commotion here, and I don't know what you're talking about. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: And I didn't order anything from Latrina. :
  
• LPC: It's called Latrina dot com, miss. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't care what it's called. I don't have anything on order. :
  
• LPC: You keep the sound down, and maybe we'll think about coming back out there. You feel me? :
  
• SPEAKER_02: What? My dog would have told me if somebody was at the front door. :
  
• LPC: Oh, your dog was sloth. :
  
• LPC: and barking up a storm. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Slobbering. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: You're lying. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: You don't know how much of a liar you are. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: This dog, this tiny little dog, doesn't slobber. :
  
• LPC: Oh, ma'am, our driver had slobber on his leg, on his sock. :
  
• LPC: he had slobber everywhere. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I don't let the dog out. :
  
• LPC: We're sending this box back to Latrina dot com - :
  
• SPEAKER_02: If you think it belongs to me, then bring it to me. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: But I'm not paying for something I :
  
• SPEAKER_02: don't have, and I didn't order. And I don't have a dog that slobs. And I wasn't pounding :
  
• SPEAKER_02: to hands last night. :
  
• LPC: Oh, there's slobber everywhere. I got slobber on my sock here. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: The dog doesn't slobber! :
  
• LPC: We're sending this box back to Latrina dot com so fast, you won't even believe it. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Send it back to what, Latrina? :
  
• LPC: Yes, ma'am. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: And how do you spell that? :
  
• LPC: Just like it sounds. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: You can't spell it? :
  
• LPC: Apparently, you can't. You're the one who ordered it. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I get it. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I didn't order it. I don't know what you're talking about. :
  
• LPC: And then you got dog slobber flying through the air. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: The dog wasn't outside. :
  
• LPC: Pay us to 3888 we need for postage, and we'll just resolve the map. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I'm not giving you any money for something I didn't order. :
  
• LPC: 3888. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I'm not giving you anything. :
  
• LPC: Then, wrap up your dog's lips 'cause he's making a mess. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: This dog doesn't slobber. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Stop calling me. :
  
• LPC: Hello? :
  
• LPC: Miss, this is Juan, from Latrina dot com. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: I didn't order anything from Latrina. :
  
• LPC: You ordered short and curly fries. :
  
• LPC: It shows in our system here. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Short and curly what? :
  
• LPC: Like a French fry? :
  
• LPC: That's the end of story. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: No, I didn't order that. :
  
• LPC: End of story. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is the end of story. :
  
• SPEAKER_02: Stop calling me. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: You're on the 75th call. Who's calling? :
  
• LPC: Uh, my name's Dicky, with Latrina dot com. :
  
• LPC: Yeah, what about it? :
  
• LPC: You ordered short and curly fries, and we're just trying to deliver them. :
  
• LPC: Deliver what? :
  
• LPC: Short and curly fries, fella. :
  
• LPC: Hey, I'm a police news reporter. :
  
• LPC: I'm tracing your number is 3617918. :
  
• LPC: Oh, don't do that. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: You know, you're a motherfucker. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: your number's on our shit list here. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: You call in now exactly 26 times. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: And you are full of shit. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: You're talking to a police news desk here. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: So, fuck. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: Fuck you. :
  
• LPC: You're talking to Latrina dot com. :
  
• None: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. :
  
• SPEAKER_06: I'm doing. :