Track details
Aliases
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SPEAKER_01: This is Peter Guitars. How can I help you?
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LPC: Hello, this is Schneider. You sold me a guitar about ten days ago.
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LPC: Ok, what guitar was that?
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LPC: It's a Fender. It was for my brother's birthday.
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None: Okay.
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LPC: And, uhhhh, it's got some weird stuff going on with it.
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SPEAKER_01: If you want to bring it in, we'd be glad to look at it. Maybe we could find you another one,
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SPEAKER_01: What's wrong with it?
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LPC: Well, we got it home and opened the case, and there was a bag of frozen blueberries inside...
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LPC: Frozen blueberries? This was a new guitar? Or used?
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LPC: I thought it was new.
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SPEAKER_01: There was frozen blueberries in this guitar case?
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SPEAKER_01: That is a new one. I can't say I've ever heard that one before. Ummm...
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LPC: I want to say everything he plays just sounds all sour and it just sounds bad.
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LPC: It's nothing like it was in the shop.
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SPEAKER_01: I have no idea, this was...what guitar was this?
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LPC: A fender.
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SPEAKER_01: Which Fender? Acoustic, electric, Telecaster, Stratocaster?
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LPC: It was your statndard "Made in Mexico".
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SPEAKER_01: Ok, I'll just look it up. What's your first name?
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LPC: This is Schneider. My brother's name is Wade. I bought it for his birthday. I paid cash.
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LPC: Ok, what's your first name?
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LPC: Hey, I could be in there playin' "Whole Lot of Love" in 30 minutes, guy,
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LPC: but it's gonna sound like a whole lotta noise, 'cause this thing's fouled up.
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LPC: You got me?
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SPEAKER_01: Ok, I, uh, actually I don't, but what's your first name again?
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SPEAKER_01: What's the problem?
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SPEAKER_01: What's your first name, so I can just look up what instrument it is.
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LPC: Here, can I just put you on the phone with my first name?
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LPC: brother Wade?
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SPEAKER_01: I'm just curious what guitar, so i can look it up soooo...
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SPEAKER_01: ...What is your first name?
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LPC: You don't remember me?
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SPEAKER_01: No, we do see a lot of people.
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SPEAKER_01: If you just give me your name, I will look it up and see what the story with his
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SPEAKER_01: guitar is.
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LPC: Schneider, I told 'ya.
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SPEAKER_01: Schneider's your first name.
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LPC: I'm gonna put Wade on the phone,
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LPC: And these blueberries were dated March of last year, too.
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LPC: That doesn't make any sense.
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LPC: Ok, so is Schneider your first name?
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LPC: Wade is me brother's name.
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SPEAKER_01: Wade.
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SPEAKER_01: alright, and that's "S-C-H"?
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SPEAKER_01: Quick calling me, you fucking idiot.
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SPEAKER_01: Hello?
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LPC: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01: Alright,
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SPEAKER_01: W-A-D-E?
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SPEAKER_01: And your last name is S-C-H-N-E-I-D-E-R?
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LPC: No, that's my first name.
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SPEAKER_01: Ok, your first name is Schneider.
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LPC: These blueberries were marked March of...
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SPEAKER_01: ..."N-E-I-D-E-R"?
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SPEAKER_01: Ok, let's see what we got here.
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LPC: That's how old these blueberries are.
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LPC: And it was slimy, and the whole thing was...
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LPC: Slimy and the whole thing.
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SPEAKER_01: I don't know anything.
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SPEAKER_01: why I'm trying to get to the bottom of this,
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SPEAKER_01: So...Alright, your first name,
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SPEAKER_01: Can you spell your first name?
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LPC: Just like it sounds.
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SPEAKER_01: S-C-H?
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LPC: Yes.
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LPC: N?
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SPEAKER_01: Yes.
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LPC: E.
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SPEAKER_01: I-D-E-R?
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SPEAKER_01: Yes.
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SPEAKER_01: And your last name Schneider?
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LPC: Wade is my brother.
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SPEAKER_01: What's your last name?
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LPC: Here, I'm just gonna put him on the phone with me.
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SPEAKER_01: What's your last name?
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SPEAKER_01: Alright,
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SPEAKER_01: we'll try this again, 'cause we're really tryin' to help you out here.
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SPEAKER_01: So your first name is Schneider?
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SPEAKER_01: Right?
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SPEAKER_01: No, I'm going to block your number if you don't quit.
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SPEAKER_01: You're just fuckin' stupid, and you must be bored.
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SPEAKER_01: Are you talking to me?
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SPEAKER_01: No, you're fucking idiot.
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LPC: (LPC voice) I am trying to get this guitar thing worked out.
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LPC: Because it's all screwed up.
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LPC: It sounds sour.
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SPEAKER_01: Okay, so your first name is Schneider, what's your last name?
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LPC: Everything sounds flat.
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None: What is your last name?
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LPC: If I played ya "Whole Lot Of Love" right
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LPC: now, it'd sound like a whole lotta nothing.
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SPEAKER_01: Alright, listen, once you're coming to the store,
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SPEAKER_01: 'cause we're not getting anywhere on the phone.
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SPEAKER_01: I need your last name.
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LPC: Oh, Webb.
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LPC: I've told you twice, at least.
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SPEAKER_01: Alright,
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SPEAKER_01: One more time, Schneider, what is your last name?
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LPC: I'm Schneider.
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LPC: My...
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SPEAKER_01: And your last name is Webb.
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LPC: ...is Webb. And my brother's name is Wade.
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Chip: Thank you for calling.
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SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, this is Chip.
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LPC: Chip.
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LPC: I was workin' with a different rep,
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LPC: I should probably stick with 'em,
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LPC: Peter.
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LPC: Oh, Peter.
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LPC: how can I help ya out?
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LPC: I got my brother here.
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LPC: I don't know a thin about guit-arrs,
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LPC: Could he talk to my brother real quick?
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I can do that.
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LPC: Just talk to Alex.
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LPC: He got the guitar.
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LPC: It's a Fender made in Mexico.
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LPC: Okay.
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah, why is the phone ringing right now?
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LPC: I'm putting you through to my brother.
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LPC: Have I got Guitar Center...
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LPC: Have I got guitar set around?
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SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you've got guitar center, but yeah, you do.
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SPEAKER_02: But I'm not sure who I've got here.
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Alex Trebek: Who you're calling.
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LPC: Alex.
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Alex Trebek: I'm Alex.
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SPEAKER_02: A-L-E-X?
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Alex Trebek: Uh-huh.
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SPEAKER_02: (Guitar Center) Sir, I'm trying to figure out why your phone keeps ringing here.
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Alex Trebek: I have no idea.
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SPEAKER_02: Okay, bring your guitar into the store.
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Alex Trebek: Oh, somebody's jerking us around.
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Alex Trebek: They've got my number, and they usually manage to cross-connect me with somebody in Atlanta or Chicago,
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Alex Trebek: or they think it's fun.
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SPEAKER_02: Okay.
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LPC: Okay.
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LPC: (LPC) Alright Chip, listen up.
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Chip: Ok, I'm gonna ask you one question, becuase I'm aware that you took up a lot of one of my salespeople's time (phone ringing sound) and you didn't get anywhere.
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LPC: I worked with Peter.
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LPC: That's who I worked with.
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LPC: Now, I want to talk to him.
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LPC: There was frozen blueberries in this case here, too, by the way.
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SPEAKER_02: Right, yes, I understand that.
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SPEAKER_02: But, sir, you're coming off at that chick,
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SPEAKER_02: you're hearing about to call the cops and tell them that you're prank calling us because you're not giving us any information.
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LPC: You understand?
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LPC: What do you mean?
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SPEAKER_02: I'm not going to let you do this anymore, so I'm going to hang up with you and you're not going to call back unless you're going to call back unless you're going to
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SPEAKER_02: to call back, and this you're going to call back to useful information and a rational mind.
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SPEAKER_02: How's that sound?
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LPC: What do you want to know? My name's Schneider.
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SPEAKER_02: How do you spell that?
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LPC: Just like it sounds.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, is it "S-C-H," is is "S-N-Y"? I can't tell how it sounds.
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LPC: "S-C-H", Schneider. (phone ringing sound) And I bought a "Made in Mexico" Fender, for my brother, in cash, from Peter.
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SPEAKER_02: Well, I understand that, but you were just leading Pete on a wild goose chace here (phone ringing sound) and all he was
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SPEAKER_02: to find out your name.
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LPC: What do you talk?
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SPEAKER_02: Also, I'm trying to figure out why you phone
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SPEAKER_02: keeps ringing here.
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LPC: A wild goose chase.
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SPEAKER_02: So I'm going to hang up, and I thought you can get your phone fixed a police phone call, okay?
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LPC: I'm going to fix your face.
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LPC: Oh, God.