Album: Best Before '24

Year: 2024

Track: Energy Star

• LPC: Hey, TV repair?
  
• TV Repairman: Yes.
  
• LPC: Yeah, my TV's in need of a factory reset.
  
• LPC: I got errors and defects and glitches and miscoding going on with my television set.
  
• TV Repairman: What brand is it?
  
• LPC: Hitachi.
  
• LPC: All right?
  
• TV Repairman: How old is it?
  
• LPC: And whenever I turn up the volume, it changes the contrast on the dang thing.
  
• LPC: When I change the channel, it changes the volume.
  
• LPC: All right?
  
• TV Repairman: Okay, yeah.
  
• TV Repairman: Who told you it needed a factory reset?
  
• LPC: Well, I called Energy Star.
  
• TV Repairman: Energy who?
  
• LPC: Energy Star.
  
• TV Repairman: Who's Energy Star?
  
• LPC: You know, the efficiency people.
  
• TV Repairman: Well how do they have anything to do with your TV?
  
• LPC: So I called them and they said get a factory reset and call this guy here.
  
• LPC: You're supposed to help me with this thing here.
  
• TV Repairman: Yeah, it doesn't mean a factory reset.
  
• TV Repairman: You need somebody to come see what the problem is.
  
• LPC: I'll tell you what the problem is.
  
• LPC: I got quantum dots all over the place.
  
• LPC: I got a rainbow effect.
  
• LPC: When I go to turn the channel, it changes the volume.
  
• TV Repairman: So you got a bad switch.
  
• LPC: And when I go to turn the contrast, it changes to picture in picture, except it's the same show, big and small.
  
• TV Repairman: This is what we do, okay?
  
• TV Repairman: We come out and check and see what you need.
  
• TV Repairman: What you're describing can be a couple of things, but not factory reset.
  
• LPC: I'm going to need an emitter.
  
• LPC: That's one thing I do know.
  
• LPC: I need an emitter, all right?
  
• TV Repairman: Who is this?
  
• TV Repairman: Is this a joke or something?
  
• LPC: No, I'm serious about getting this thing fixed.
  
• LPC: Energy Star said you'd help me out.
  
• TV Repairman: Yeah, I don't know who Energy Star is, okay?
  
• LPC: Oh, they're real efficient people.
  
• LPC: Real efficient.
  
• LPC: Company-wide.
  
• TV Repairman: Where are you located?
  
• LPC: I'm in Bontemps.
  
• TV Repairman: No, well you got to call somebody else.
  
• TV Repairman: I'm in New Orleans.
  
• LPC: I'm twenty minutes away.
  
• LPC: I'm in Bontemps, Louisiana.
  
• TV Repairman: Yeah, we don't go that far.
  
• TV Repairman: You need to call somebody closer.
  
• LPC: It's twenty minutes away.
  
• TV Repairman: You just said forty minutes and twenty or forty.
  
• LPC: Forty round trip.
  
• LPC: Are you trying to trip me up or are you scared of a little work?
  
• TV Repairman: Yeah, I don't know who this is.
  
• LPC: This is Thorpe, and I've got a V chip.
  
• LPC: now that's native, but with Atmos running on the thing, I think maybe that's where I started getting these nanocrystals.
  
• TV Repairman: Okay, you know what you got?
  
• TV Repairman: You probably got a bad switch, is what you sound like.
  
• TV Repairman: When a switch goes bad, it takes the digital and changes the impromptu information to give the computer chip the wrong information.
  
• LPC: Well, it takes about thirty six hours for the TV to turn on.
  
• LPC: Listen, I'm just going to bring this unit to you and you can check it out.
  
• LPC: All right, I'll drop it off.
  
• TV Repairman: We don't take them in.
  
• TV Repairman: I'm not here.
  
• TV Repairman: I don't sit in the shop.
  
• TV Repairman: When are you going to bring it?
  
• TV Repairman: What address?
  
• LPC: Today.
  
• TV Repairman: What address?
  
• LPC: Well, I'm going to be there in twenty minutes.
  
• LPC: Unless you want.
  
• TV Repairman: Okay, goodbye.
  
• LPC: What's the matter?
  
• LPC: You going to call Energy Star or what?
  
• TV Repairman: Yeah, I'm going to call Energy Star and see what they say.
  
• LPC: I'm going to call them on you.
  
• LPC: All right.
  
• LPC: And report you for not helping me.
  
• LPC: Like they said, they're the ones who gave me your number.
  
• TV Repairman: Look, I don't know what your game is.
  
• TV Repairman: You're not making sense.
  
• TV Repairman: You're saying things that TVs don't do.
  
• TV Repairman: I'm a TV man.
  
• TV Repairman: What we do is come out and see what you need.
  
• TV Repairman: The customers usually don't call us and give us all this, you know, uh, and Energy Star never heard of them.
  
• TV Repairman: Well, why would I ask you questions?
  
• TV Repairman: You won't answer them.
  
• TV Repairman: I asked you how old the TV was.
  
• TV Repairman: You never answered.
  
• TV Repairman: You got an old TV that the switches used to go bad in.
  
• TV Repairman: I try to help you.
  
• TV Repairman: You telling me what's wrong with it.
  
• TV Repairman: If you're telling me what's wrong with it, you don't need me.
  
• TV Repairman: You know what's wrong with it.
  
• TV Repairman: If Energy Star told you to do a factory reset
  
• TV Repairman: All you got to do is a factory reset.
  
• TV Repairman: You don't need me.
  
• LPC: It's a 13.3 inch.
  
• LPC: Oh, all right.
  
• TV Repairman: I work on thirteen inch TVs.
  
• LPC: What do you think that's funny or something?
  
• TV Repairman: We don't work.
  
• TV Repairman: This is a joke.
  
• LPC: Listen, my name's Thorpe.
  
• LPC: All right.
  
• LPC: I can give you a credit card deposit over the phone.
  
• LPC: I need an emitter is what I need.
  
• LPC: And I need anti-blur installed on there.
  
• TV Repairman: Yeah, no, I can't help you.
  
• LPC: I got quantum dots everywhere.
  
• LPC: It's distracting.
  
• LPC: It's so distracting.
  
• LPC: I can't take it anymore.
  
• LPC: I got quantum dots up in there.
  
• TV Repairman: You need to call Hitachi then.
  
• TV Repairman: Call Hitachi, they'll be able to help you.
  
• LPC: They're out of business.
  
• TV Repairman: Well, I don't do quantum dots anymore.
  
• TV Repairman: I quit doing quantum dots.
  
• LPC: Oh, yeah?
  
• LPC: What about subsampling?
  
• TV Repairman: No, we don't do any of that no more.
  
• TV Repairman: My subsampler quantum dot machine's broken.
  
• LPC: Hey, man, I got after imaging up the yin-yang over here.
  
• LPC: You got me figured out?
  
• TV Repairman: Yeah, I got you figured out.
  
• TV Repairman: You know, I don't have time for this.
  
• LPC: I got a native V chip and I can't run my Atmos on it.